Hope
by edwardcullenluver124
Summary: What happens if Bella never went to Jacob house that day in New Moon so she never got any better? Edward never came back and its been 4 years so will he ever? Bella sure hopes he will every single day of her life.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Stephenie Meyers fantastic books**

**A/N This is my first fanfic so tell me what you think!!! PLEASE!!!**

* * *

**SEPTEMBER 13TH ,2009**

3 years, 3 years and he still hasn't come back for me. Well by now I know that in truth he probable wont ever come for me. But that doesn't stop me from hoping that one night I will wake up from another nightmare and he will be there waiting for me, begging me to take him back. And I would with open arms. I haven't stopped hoping ever since he left me that day 3 years ago in the forest, when he told me he didn't want me anymore. But all I have left in life is hope and nothing but hope.

There was a squeaking noise from the corner of the Cullens living room, "probable another mouse." I muttered to only myself. I looked around remembering that horrific night 3 years ago. The piano, _his_ piano, was still in the same place it always was and always will be. The only difference was the big white sheet covering it and everything else in the dusty house.

I starred down at my hands, which were on my lap as I sat in the middle of their living room. I shuddered as I began to feel how cold it was in this house. Not how it used to be, but nothing was the same anymore.

That was when the memories of the past 3 years came pouring into my brain. All the times I would be forced to go to my mothers because I wasn't getting any better. All the college interviews I went to and all they had to do was look at me and say "no." All the friends I used to have who went on with their lives an didn't even bother to say 'goodbye' as I stayed in the same town at the same house.

My eyes started to fill up with salty tears as even more memories came into mind. I stood up, trying to clear my head, when I saw my reflection in a mirror on the top of the Cullens fireplace.

My once silky,smooth, full brown hair was knotted and looked dead as it hung lump around my zombie looking face and down my back. I brought my boney hand up to touch the dark shadows under my eyes. I looked up to my once deep chocolate brown eyes and saw nothing but pain, loss and sorrow. My pale skin wasn't even pale anymore, it was white, as white as the sheets covering every piece of furniture in this house.

I wondered if I would ever go back to how I used to be, when there was light in my eyes and a happy smile on my face. No, that will never happen because I cant just forget about him as much as I want to I cant.

Charlie is sick of how I am acting even though he doesn't t say it, he shown it. He wanted me to get into a good college and find a man and get married and have a happily ever after , but none of those things happened. I still live at home with him and I don't even have a great job, still just working at Newtons Sporting Goods store. I am just useless, no wonder he left me.

I clutched my boney stomach with dear life as I thought about that last statement, trying to hold myself together and trying not to remember that night. The tears were running freely as I sat back down in the middle of the floor again.

I glanced down at my hands wrapped around my stomach. I was probable as small as Alice now, weighing only 87 pounds. All I do now is loose weight. I normally don't remember to feed myself or I just don't feel like eating. So usually I only eat around once a day. But I lost all this weight in 3 years so its not like I'm trying to.

Every year, ever since he left me, (I clutched my stomach closer) I would come here the same day, my birthday. I would come here just to think and feel like it used to.I dont feel pain when I come here, only happiness, until memories fill my brain.

The house, just like the last 2 years was quiet, other than the squeaking of the mice running around in the corner of the room. The quiet was terrible, I longed to hear the sounds of the Cullens families voices and the booming laughter coming from everybody , especially Emmett. Just to fill the endless quiet.

As I got up, I sighed, another year gone by, still nothing. I started to walk towards the door. This time it was much better than the last 2 years, I didn't break down and sob uncontrollable when I realised I had to leave.

Maybe it will be a better full year also, I thought to myself. But never had I been so wrong in my life.

**Please Review and tell me what u thought of the 1st chapter because reviews are very much loved!!!!**


End file.
